THE OFFICIAL BLOG OF THE LANCE, THE UNIVERSITY OF WINDSOR STUDENT NEWSPAPER:
NEWS, REVIEWS AND COMMENTARY, COURTESY OF THE PAPER TRAIL

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Presenting the Trail's Rules for Life

In a rare shift on the first floor of work [that barren wasteland of bestsellers and bargain cookbooks where customers continually ask where the magazines are] I stumbled upon a book from the editors of Esquire magazine entitled The Rules. Allegedly taken from a forgotten leather journal found in the bowels of the magazine's research library, but probably not, the book is a collection of rules a man should adhere to to live and understand the best life possible [Hip asians are the hippest of all ethnicities; the louder the talk, the dumber the guy; and my favourite: When someone says he is "pumped" about something, it usually means he's about to do something stupid]. While most aspects are covered, these are fast and fluid times we live in, so occasionally I will be doing my small, inept part to continue adding to them, debuting tonight.

While technology has improved our lives in many ways, there is no greater abomination progress has foisted upon us than the Bluetooth handsfree headset.

Really. There's no way to wear it and not look like a douche. Or Lt. Uhura. Unless you're performing surgery, flip your goddam phone open.

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