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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Hail to the Henderson, King of D-Baggery

*pinches bridge of nose, waits for pain to subside*

I swear to God, Windsor. If I didn't know better, I'd swear the man did it for solely my benefit. But today makes at least a week [a week] of columns from Gord the Great dedicated to the engineering school.

Today's offering provides zero in the way of facts, instead spewing 600 words or so of admitted speculation on how the university's Board of Governors might have voted when deciding where to place the new building.

And if you, as Gord suggests, "haven't a clue who sits on this absurdly cumbersome [thirty-five] member body," you can endure the difficult task of clicking here, where such information is readily available. Certainly more readily available than who sits on the Star's editorial board, but there you have it.

Anyway, Gord muses on four boardmembers in particular, and why they'd be opposed to having the building downtown: Tecumseh Deputy Mayor Tom Burton [Tecumseh hates Windsor]; auto analyst Dennis DesRosiers [Dennis hates Eddie]; Ambassador Bridge heir Matty Moroun [he may have sat out the vote, but what if other members held their tongues for fear of offending him, especially after his family bailed out the stadium a few years back?]; and Tony Toldo [who isn't even a member, but what if someone else worried that constructing a new building off campus would offend this generous philanthropist and campus booster?].

All interesting ideas, which would be more interesting if Gord offered a shred of fact to support them. But if he's got 'em, he ain't telling. It's actually kind of a fun game, I'd like to play it.

Sure, Henderson's been a stand up guy, fair and balanced, but what if his home was infested with rats, Windsor? And what if one of those rats bit him on the nutsack while he slept, causing him to contract rabies? And what if said infection clouded his judgment so severely that he ranted on the same tired subject for months on end, oblivious to the sounds of former friends and colleagues quietly disavowing any knowledge of him?

Of course, I can't prove any of this, but still, it could happen....

Given that the Star is just another cog in the Canwest/Global empire, I suppose we should be thankful there's any local columnists, but if this is what passes for hard hitting commentary down there, fall on your knees and plead with whatever God you pray to for salvation.

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