THE OFFICIAL BLOG OF THE LANCE, THE UNIVERSITY OF WINDSOR STUDENT NEWSPAPER:
NEWS, REVIEWS AND COMMENTARY, COURTESY OF THE PAPER TRAIL

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The types of headaches only Toronto can provide

Man, it's pretty dead out there tonight, Windsor.

So, Lady Trail has this...thing, where she thinks if I ride the subway by myself, I will get stabbed or shot or eaten by mole people. She insists that we should ride the subway together, at which time I will be infused with some sort of totemic power provided by her presence that will protect me from stabbings and shootings and mole people consumption.

So when the new figure series from Joe Ledbetter dropped today, I couldn't hop the train down to the Magic Pony to grab a few, because she would have gone into a rage of fear and...uh, rage. So I waited until she got home from work. We just drove down anyway and the only ones they had left were some scraps no one else did, which is fine by me, but people, if I had just taken the train, no worries.

Totally going by myself tomorrow if the Silver Snail gets some in.

In other news, driving with The Lady has become more and more fun, as the bikers. cab drivers and all around dickholes careening through the streets of the Big Smoke have started to take their toll on the young lass. I quote:

"I'm going to chew your fucking leg off!" --Lady Trail, after getting stuck in an intersection by an inconsiderate driver in front of her.

You and I both know that's funny, Windsor. But God help either one of us if we laugh.

To the morning, friends! New issue of The Lance should be on stands by then, a warm embrace to welcome you back to the mountains of academia. Enjoy!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Greg said...

The invention of new curse words (e.g. "jizzacock") and the unusual pairing of the established words (e.g. "shit-fuck") is a rite of passage for all TO drivers. You need to back your Lady up with some passenger seat jive talk.

10:03 AM

 
Anonymous Lady Trail said...

My level of road rage increases tenfold driving in Toronto. I've also noticed that my right knee starts hurting after awhile, with all of the starting and stopping. And Greg, I am certain that as I become more experienced in the city, much more interesting phrases will come out of my mouth. Leaving the city tonight, there will be a "fart-fucker" or two yelled out.

4:32 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...knowing you for as long as I have (your entire life) I never really realized just how creative your volcabulary has become.

PB

8:35 PM

 

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